Poems - Jack Roman Photography

Why I Create art

Maybe every time I take a picture I plead for life

Every time I create I celebrate my breath

Every new idea reminds me of the beating heart in my chest

Giving me a chance to share in this moment

Speeding thru space on a rock

Pausing to capture the wonders

The beauty

Even the tragedy and sorrow of these fleeting moments

Is the closest I can come to reaching out and holding your hand

Slowing down time to feel the heart beats around me

Dropping to my knees in wonder and awe

Sometimes I create cuz it's the only way to stand up again

I used to believe there was more magic in my world
I used to be more intrigued
Time has taught me it's safer to not want
It's better to not expect anything from anyone
I also allowed a huge part of my passion to be stolen in the night
My Excitement
My creative vibrant self always thinking of new ideas, new images, new ways to create
Those Rockets hit walls more times then I have numbers for
Over time I grew tired of the rage of having my cookie stolen in the night
Screamed so much till I questioned the reason for screaming any longer
Here I sit
Jack in his box
Wondering
Was the idea lost?
Did it ever really exists?
Or was it just part of my imagination never materialized
Excitement, Hope & Expectation have been the Devil to push me off the cliff into the abyss of hopelessness
If all your life this path has followed true
How long before you no longer journey?
Where do you go when you realize magic was stolen?
You can't trust excitement, you already know that Devil
Try to self Heal?
Healing leads to hope.
Hope leads to the cliff of despair
Make peace with my aloneness for the 100th time?
Wonder is there some rock I failed to over turn?
Maybe some seeds I forgot to plant
Only the germination feels past my life span
Following my own thoughts still leads me astray
Yet I wonder

I love photography,

I love being creative and making things.

With photography I am able to be in my creative energy and my passion while being around others. Plus I enjoy the challenges of searching and creating or capturing a great shot.

With working on sculptures / art projects or building something with my hands I love the tranquilly it brings. A sense of well being and peace. Also at times a place to put troubling energy. Of course that depends certain projects I can't do if my frame of mind is not right. I have tried and failed often so I have learned to not push those.

It is my hope and desire to continue to grow as an artist and photographer connecting with those who enjoy and appreciate what I do.

It's a natural fusion that takes place between my spirit, who I am and my passion for the arts. At this point it's been going on for so long I could not separate one from the other. It's like trying to pull apart molecules and expect the same element.

It's such a part of who I am there is no "it" and me. It's just Me.

Art is the only prayer I have left.
Conscious communication the only song left to sing.

My heart pumps but I am not always alive
Art fuels my fire
At night I often hear the echo in the chambers
Going thru the motions
Looking for the flames
I wanna race
Optimism and hope are cliffs I have crashed off of
Wondering if there is some rock I have yet to overturn
Or will these rocks eventually become another cliff

Sitting in silence across from me
I would rather be any where else but here
Avoiding with TV
Stuffing my feelings like a turkey on thanksgiving
Or simply hardening myself on aloneness
Not that I don't enjoy me and love me
In front of me sitting staring is the ugly me
The me that has made mistakes
The me that internalized other actions
The me that looks at myself in the mirror only to see Quasimodo staring back
I would rather "attempt" to make myself "better" with some "spiritual" practice and "move forward"
"Learn from my mistakes"
And try again for the 100,000 time
Always failing
Cuz I would rather move on
But there is no one here but me
Today
Tomorrow
Next week
Next month
Me
I have tried every which way
With a 98% failure rate
Some days I get up and hope for that 2%
Other days I know it's better to not get up at all and don't even try
Only with no place else to go here I am
I don't want to accept my aloneness
I'd rather have a drink and remember my humor
I'm just not laughing at the moment
I am here
Looking for an exit
As I do my best to pull out the chair and sit down
I guess it's just you and me kid
I'd like the courage to offer to play ball
But we are both burdened with weight
For the moment that's ok
I'm just doing my best to just sit here not say anything or do anything
Just being present
For the moment that is good enough

Falling thru the cracks
Lost in plain site
The Sun a distant memory
Walls closing in
Ghosts stealing my colored pencils
All that is left is a box of grey
Missing my spark
Fire left on the back side of agreements never delivered
On the floor
Tiny pieces of two broken pencils
Red & Blue
Reminding me of left over flames that once burned bright
And an ocean that whispered her calming beauty into my ear

Sitting in the dark
Wondering of the engine inside
Cylinders posed to strike
While electrical cuts in & out
Inspiration fades as quickly as it shows up
Attempting to pour music into the gas tank
Meditating
Trying to seek out the short circuits
Hearing the engine rev is music to my soul
Wire gets cut by life and the motor shuts off
It's like cutting a birds wings
I roll around on the floor in agony
Looking at a vision that once was
Till I can once again push myself up
And sit in the Dark

I create art to momentarily take away the pain
Every picture taken
Every poem written
A moment of pause
A temporary escape or temporarily remembering
The passion that lays within
A Blazing Fire
Lava burning a path down the mountain side
Destroying or creating
Befriended Art
To replace a hug

Tender moments seem to come too infrequently
Gaps between human contact expanding
Memories fade
Pain subsides
Senses dull
The ache dissipates into the huge void of space
Till nothingness subdues passion
Anger takes a back seat to disinterest
Tid bits of wisdom sneak in between the cracks of silence
A Jack in my Box
I wonder
Drinking helps me to continue to entertain myself
A Spiritual joker to create a brief moment of a smile